Thursday, 4 October 2012


Top 10 tips for “Miss” on the way to be “Mrs.”


When a female turns back the pages of her life, she is bound to get nostalgic on the event which completely changed her life and that is – her Marriage.


Me & my brother
(before marriage)
Me on my D-day
(getting married)
The most memorable and precious moments of a girl’s life is her marriage - the day she takes over a variety of roles and ceases to be just “daddy’s-little-princess” n “Maa ki pyaari bititya”. She is now a wife, daughter in law, bhabi, chachi and the list goes on. Every girl receives those well-meaning little nuggets of advise/suggestion/information from all those relatives who have suddenly materialized out of thin air. All the long lost aunts’ n cousins come alive!!! Everyone will have their experiences to share. But my dear aunties married in the 1970’s n 1980’s (no offence intended) times have really changed and the tips that came handy to you does not really hold any weight in today’s scenario.

 So all the girls on their way or soon to be on their way to be bound in wedlock here’s a list of tips which will hold u in good stead when adjusting to a whole new life :-

Mother-in-law teaching her Daughter-in-law.
   1.   DO not learn COOKING..- Yes u heard me right! After all what’s the use in learning how-to make-upma/poha/daal when you’ll have to relearn it all after marriage. I mean your hubby n in-laws would be having their specific tastes and also their own style of cooking. .For eg in my parents’ home we had mostly North-Indian dishes of roti-subzee-dal but my in-laws prefer South –Indian delicacies of variety rice and uttapam’s. Even if the dishes prepared is the same in both the houses there will be a lot of difference in the style of preparation. So, why waste those precious courtship days in messing around the kitchen getting all sweaty and grimy. Let your mother in law do the honors of teaching you. Believe me you bond better this way ;-) so it’s better to start with a clean slate. In case you know cooking already you might not adapt to the style of cooking in your new home or worse your mom in law might not be too impressed with you showing off your culinary skills. So let her teach you even if you do know how to do it!!! Later when you make lip-smacking mouth-watering dishes you can let her hog credit of teaching u;-)


2.    DO spend loads of time with your parents/siblings/friends – For the simple reason that this time never comes back. In case, you are going to settle down in a different city after marriage this becomes all the more crucial. Its really difficult to leave your parents and your identity behind for a new life with a new identity. 



  3.Work on yourself – Indulge in power-yoga /aerobics or whatever fitness regime catches your fancy. Eat healthy with loads of fresh fruits, veggies, juices and buttermilk comprising a major part of your diet. Pamper yourself with costly body spas, facials, manicures et all.




4.    Talk a lot to your fiancée - This phase will never come back. Make him feel special with thoughtful gifts/cards but do not overdo it. Your main intention of chit-chatting so much is not to indulge in over-the-top romantic and cheesy stuff but get to know him better. Do talk about issues important to you like finance, career, children etc. and read in between the words, observe his reactions/expressions etc.


5.    Do not go to all that girlie classes – Like cooking, crafts, paintings (unless u love doing it of-course). It’s all passé, believe me. Instead get clear on what career u want to pursue after marriage. I mean not everyone is lucky enough to continue with whatever profession they are currently pursuing (due to relocation in a different city, in-laws may not be comfortable with the idea of you working in a bank/company, hubby may need your support for his own business etc. Hence, it is advisable to chart out your career plan after discussions with your fiancée and in-laws, and you can start doing your ground work in that field.


6   DO attend Personal grooming workshops - Personal grooming is important to know how to conduct yourself in social dos n parties, what type of clothes/make-up/hairstyle look good on you etc. Do learn how to drape a saree coz in my case I still can’t drape a saree properly and its horrendous to see your Mother-in-Law sitting down on the floor with her party wear saree draped on and struggling with the pleats of your saree. Every time I feel like the floor should open up and swallow me in. The icing on the cake is that when you are not satisfied with the outcome you can’t complain because you do not want to hear the words “do it yourself then”! Ahh..as they say Beggars can’t be choosers.


7   DO attend Personality grooming workshops- Oh yes! Men are no longer in love with those guile girls who look like lost-lambs in this big bad world. They love those confident, bold, suave and modern females who are sure of themselves and can hold their heads high. A woman should be capable of playing diverse roles of a wife, financial planner, event manager etc.


8. Mental makeup – Apart from the physical beautification for your D-day mental makeup is more essential. Gals indulge in laser treatments, chemical peel-offs etc to remove scars, spots etc before their marriage but more than that u need to do a serious cleaning and scrubbing of your thoughts and feelings. In case you have had a past affair/bad break up then u need to move over it and accept your new life partner whole-heartedly. Also, promise yourself to never indulge in petty comparisons of your beau with your ex. Incase u have been the spoilt brat at home and consider it your birth right to spew venom on any-one and every-one who comes your way in your bad mood then please STOP. You will have to take a grip over yourself in your new home.




   9.Real life is different from reel life. – The ahhs n oohs you have uttered on watching those cheesy romantic movies or while reading those “Mills and Boons” do not necessarily happen the same way in real life. Almost every girl has stuffed herself with a  good dose of these stories and has patiently waited for her man (read knight) in shining armor to come riding on a white horse and whisk her away into his world .Girls take a grip over yourselves, adjustments in daily life is different from what you have read or watched. Make sure that the Romantic moments are well sprinkled in your married life but believe me there is a life beyond it too.


10.  Don’t get worked up reading and listening to all the tips!!! – ha ha!! Oh yes, do not get carried away trying to follow each and every tip u read about. There is no need to take all those tips which every Tom, Dick and Harry will give you in this phase of life. Most importantly, you just have to be yourself and follow those tips you can relate to or would be applicable in ur case. Every girl and every couple is unique in itself so basically there cannot be a single set of rules applicable to all.



Last but not the least, this is one of the most golden phase of life (among other golden phases) so just enjoy it fully. It’s not like this phase is the best in married life as many people claim. Life after marriage is also as beautiful, charming and fulfilling provided you know how to keep that spark and magic alive. Go live that beautiful Magical life U deserve!!!.







12 comments:

  1. Well written.. Loved the last point... and completely agree to the statement each couple is unique and beautiful in their own way!!! Being in love is amazing and marriage is a celebration of it!!

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    1. welcome Monika..yup!every couple is unique n I cn tell u from my prsnl married life experience of 1 n half yrs that what works for some other couple may not work out for you..
      Marrried Life is beautiful..its really amazing how a stranger can suddenly become such an intimate part of u n ur life(I has an arranged cum love marriage!!!)

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  2. Thank you for sharing the points Shilpi.....future me bohot kaam aayega!!
    Very well written and I liked the first tip you have given!! Thanks for sharing tips once again!!

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    1. thanks snehal!hopefully u do find it handy,,its from my own personal experience!

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  3. I'll be sure to remember these when my time comes!

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    1. ha ha!thnk u!! do identify yourself..we would not like u to remain anonymous!

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  4. Hi i am Jyotsna from Los Angeles...i got married in aug 2012.I agree with most points u have mentioned in your post.i have read ur earlier posts as well. Ur writing style is truly captivating..i can see that u are very passionate about reading and writing..way to go...

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    1. welcome Jyotsna!! Really glad to know that u liked reading my post!! thank you:-))

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  5. This is awesome..Enjoyed reading :)

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    1. Thabk You Ashitha!! Glad u liked it:-)

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  6. wah cant believe dint take out time to read this before...i am following n also follow d rest of d tips ;)
    n I agree with Jyotsna ur writing style is truly captivating

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    1. Thanks sweetie:-)The tips are actually meant for the females our age who are about to get married!

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